so they say
honesty is the best policy
but which kinda policy?
the type of policy that keeps your butt off the fire
or
the type of policy that retains your clear conscience
or
the type of policy that doesn't give a damn
or
the type of policy that is without regrets
or
the type of policy that cloisters you in a happy little bubble
or
the type of policy that cloisters others in their happy little bubbles
or
the type of policy that washes your hands clean off any blame
or
the type of policy that cuts you so deep
or
the type of policy that is balm to your weary, secret-keeping soul
or
the type of policy that burns everyone in its way
or 
the type of policy that builds stronger bridges
or
the type of policy that aches your heart
or 
the type of policy that paints a smile on others' faces
or
the type of policy that destroys any semblance of security
or 
the type of policy that answers every 'what if's whether rightly or wrongly

I have a mindful of legal-pad-written pros and cons
to prove the greyness of it all
but everytime I see those doe-shaped eyes
it explodes in colours
ribbons swirls around me
squeezing my ribcage
daring me to yell
the very thing that honesty is not the best policy for
'I'm here'.