of vollies

congratulate me. quick.
I am now officially a Lort Smith animal shelter volunteer.
complete with keycard and a vollie polo tee.
and waggy-tailed, wet-nosed dogs.
the kittens, I'm not that gaga over.
but the dogs...! *sigh*

and the Fringe festival is awesomeness.
got to see cool acts for free (!!), meet cool people.
and I so got the professional-box-office vibe going on. people were coming up to me for shows and tickets and whatnot. it's a total ego boost! lols.

and did I mention I'm still into 80s music?!

of fun and semi-gap years

I'm having way too much fun nowadays that it's almost, almost illegal...
but I figured that I'll only get this one miserable year relatively free so I'll treat it as a "semi-gap" year.

people travel to Brazil and Africa and whatnot for their true-blue gap year.
and I travel... quite a bit. relatively speaking. I mean, just in zone 1 of Victoria, where my monthly ticket is put to good use. so, it's as far as I can get, without buying another Metlink zone 2 ticket, you know.

fun things I have done to date:
- a glorious week with the parentals aka self-declared-week-off from work! 'nuff said.

- long conversations with the parentals, across the oceans and lands.

-beaching on the couch with the little brother, without worrying too much about work.

- catching up with Sha and Janice: birthdays, shopping trips (more of window shopping for me, as I was the official bag-carrier for the girls... I'm telling you, I carry shopping bags really, really well. it's almost an art to perfection!), dinners, the works.

- having fun at AMS with another set of girls (thankfully, my AMS unit is awesome!)

- catching up with the med girls: dinners, facebook sessions, birthdays (I seem to hangout way too much with just girls, yes?) and of course, with the boys too!!

- volunteering!! right now, I'm doing my stint at the Melbourne Fringe Festival with tons of really cool, out-of-this-world acts and talented performers. I feel so artsy-fartsy! and hopefully, I get the stint at the Lort Smith shelter too!

- current obsession: 80s music (one thing about me is I HAVE PHASES. I was named after the moon in my chinese name, so I have the right, nay, the privilege to change constantly, waxing and waning and everything.) anyways, how can one not jump up and dance to 80s anthems eg Cyndi Lauper, MJ, Queen, David Bowie, Prince (screams!!), Eurythmics??!! it's almost unforgiveable to not bop your head to the beats just a little....

- and my cousin sister aka godsister just got married. and I'm having fun stalking her on Facebook to see all her pretty wedding pictures and anticipating the wedding dinner, albeit from one continent away....

- and on a more trivial note, my cooked dinners at home seem to go pretty well. oxtail soups, osso bucco, lemongrass pork, etc. I'm like... a gourmand. Heh!

- and I'm having a reunion with the primary 6 classmates here in Melbourne this weekend! yes, we manage to keep track of each other all these years. it's almost an incredible feat. but considering Facebook and the stalker function, it's almost too easy!

- and finally, the weather is slightly warmer... and since I thrive on sunlight, my disposition is somwhat, cheerier...

of picnics and oxtails

PMS-ing Melbourne weather is totally harshing my springtime mellow!
sheets of rain and gusty winds are not really great company for market-shopping and prety spring frocks.

but I had a great day at Vic Mart, despite my hole-y sweater and the wind blowing through it. (screw my 5-bucks-op-shop-retro-white-knit-sweater! lols. but i totally *heart* it)
and that is due to the fact that I found this awesomely cool stall at the meat section that sells all the unwanted parts of the goat and cow and pig.
seriously. I'm talking about goat brains, cow kidneys, ox tongue. the works.
no, I'm not a gourmand that knows how to cook all the different parts.
but heck, I managed to get my oxtails after hunting for ages! and that, I'm happy about.
and I was so tempted to get the goat brains, after seeing that episode on Masterchef that dealt with the brains and one of the judges described them as creamy and absolutely sinful!
*thinks hard* maybe I'll get them after I hunt up a few recipes! lols.

and I'm having a great few days, retail-therapy-wise. *winks*

and on a separate note, I so want to organise a picnic...
I wanna get a wicker picnic basket and red checked picnic cloth and a glass bottle full of sparkling lemonade and little finger sandwiches and chocolate fingers and a big blue kite.
too bad the weather is throwing a tantrum right now.

I have tons and tons of readings to do. both academic and... well, non-academic.
and it has been the most wonderful weather to curl up and read in an armchair/beanbag/lumpy bed. gloomy skies with periods of rain are meant for people to stay indoors.
just need a cup of chai latte and i'm all set.
I'm recently addicted to chai latte. that satiny finish of cream and spicy notes of cinnamon are absolutely sinful.

***

the parentals have left and it's been quieter, as expected.
finally, dad has seen the new apartment and I would like to think he loved it. lols.
after all, he is sponsoring it!
it's been a hectic, hectic, hectic one week when they were here.

chiong-ing my lit review draft right now.
but oh my oh my oh my, I keep getting distracted by images of KokoBlack's yummylicious choc mousse and homemade banana bread.
why a random banana bread?
because I came across this awesome-looking banana bread picture online and it's making me crave for banana bread.
and now, I can't stop thinking about Aunt Linda's helluva banana bread that was and still is the most heavenly thing I've ever tasted.

I shall go have me a banana now.

of childhoods and blame

2 months solid of AMS-ing.
at Orygen Youth Health.
untangling the mysteries of human psyche.
but even if (heaven forbid!!) I don't completely remember what I've been slaving over this whole year, there's one thing that I will take away with me.

I'm totally grateful for the wonderful childhood and loving family that I've been given.

encountering the teen clients at the centre, listening to them regaling tales of their chilhood.
no tales of rainbows and Barbies and cupcakes and imaginary games.
their not-so-pleasant childhood experiences were and are what defined them, and made them the way they are right now.
sure, in the beginning, I admit I, the ignorant fool that I was, placed blame upon them. I blamed them for not taking responsibilty for their lives, for letting their lives spiral down to such a destructive stage, for not being able to finish school and hold down jobs, for having so much chaos in their lives.
but, as time went on, I realised why there are so many NGOs dedicated to protecting children's rights.
children are pliable. yes, they are resilient. but they are vulnerable too.
it's always a fine balance between resilience and vulnerability.
and it's partly up to caretakers to comprehend that.

the things that the clients had to go through were... horrified, to say the least.
the mental and physical agony that they had to go through at the hands of their so-called support network is indescribable. it's something that I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
and on top of all that, I feel anger.
I'm angry at parents who bring their children into this world, without giving a second thought to a child's needs of security and stability. I'm angry at the non-existence of love and gentle words, of advice and guidance. I'm angry at them, bringing their alcohol- and drug-fueled presence into the household. I'm angry at them, spewing foul words no child should never ever hear. I'm angry at them for not protecting their children from sexual, physical and emotional abuse.
dammit, these parents do not deserve their children.


I'm just glad that I had an awesome childhood, full of sunshine, TV-boxes-turned-spaceship make-believe games, sweets, art classes, laughter and most importantly, love.
so thanks, dad and mum.
I had fun.

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.
Pride and Prejudice
Darcy to Elizabeth, Chapter 58.