of vollies

congratulate me. quick.
I am now officially a Lort Smith animal shelter volunteer.
complete with keycard and a vollie polo tee.
and waggy-tailed, wet-nosed dogs.
the kittens, I'm not that gaga over.
but the dogs...! *sigh*

and the Fringe festival is awesomeness.
got to see cool acts for free (!!), meet cool people.
and I so got the professional-box-office vibe going on. people were coming up to me for shows and tickets and whatnot. it's a total ego boost! lols.

and did I mention I'm still into 80s music?!

of fun and semi-gap years

I'm having way too much fun nowadays that it's almost, almost illegal...
but I figured that I'll only get this one miserable year relatively free so I'll treat it as a "semi-gap" year.

people travel to Brazil and Africa and whatnot for their true-blue gap year.
and I travel... quite a bit. relatively speaking. I mean, just in zone 1 of Victoria, where my monthly ticket is put to good use. so, it's as far as I can get, without buying another Metlink zone 2 ticket, you know.

fun things I have done to date:
- a glorious week with the parentals aka self-declared-week-off from work! 'nuff said.

- long conversations with the parentals, across the oceans and lands.

-beaching on the couch with the little brother, without worrying too much about work.

- catching up with Sha and Janice: birthdays, shopping trips (more of window shopping for me, as I was the official bag-carrier for the girls... I'm telling you, I carry shopping bags really, really well. it's almost an art to perfection!), dinners, the works.

- having fun at AMS with another set of girls (thankfully, my AMS unit is awesome!)

- catching up with the med girls: dinners, facebook sessions, birthdays (I seem to hangout way too much with just girls, yes?) and of course, with the boys too!!

- volunteering!! right now, I'm doing my stint at the Melbourne Fringe Festival with tons of really cool, out-of-this-world acts and talented performers. I feel so artsy-fartsy! and hopefully, I get the stint at the Lort Smith shelter too!

- current obsession: 80s music (one thing about me is I HAVE PHASES. I was named after the moon in my chinese name, so I have the right, nay, the privilege to change constantly, waxing and waning and everything.) anyways, how can one not jump up and dance to 80s anthems eg Cyndi Lauper, MJ, Queen, David Bowie, Prince (screams!!), Eurythmics??!! it's almost unforgiveable to not bop your head to the beats just a little....

- and my cousin sister aka godsister just got married. and I'm having fun stalking her on Facebook to see all her pretty wedding pictures and anticipating the wedding dinner, albeit from one continent away....

- and on a more trivial note, my cooked dinners at home seem to go pretty well. oxtail soups, osso bucco, lemongrass pork, etc. I'm like... a gourmand. Heh!

- and I'm having a reunion with the primary 6 classmates here in Melbourne this weekend! yes, we manage to keep track of each other all these years. it's almost an incredible feat. but considering Facebook and the stalker function, it's almost too easy!

- and finally, the weather is slightly warmer... and since I thrive on sunlight, my disposition is somwhat, cheerier...

of picnics and oxtails

PMS-ing Melbourne weather is totally harshing my springtime mellow!
sheets of rain and gusty winds are not really great company for market-shopping and prety spring frocks.

but I had a great day at Vic Mart, despite my hole-y sweater and the wind blowing through it. (screw my 5-bucks-op-shop-retro-white-knit-sweater! lols. but i totally *heart* it)
and that is due to the fact that I found this awesomely cool stall at the meat section that sells all the unwanted parts of the goat and cow and pig.
seriously. I'm talking about goat brains, cow kidneys, ox tongue. the works.
no, I'm not a gourmand that knows how to cook all the different parts.
but heck, I managed to get my oxtails after hunting for ages! and that, I'm happy about.
and I was so tempted to get the goat brains, after seeing that episode on Masterchef that dealt with the brains and one of the judges described them as creamy and absolutely sinful!
*thinks hard* maybe I'll get them after I hunt up a few recipes! lols.

and I'm having a great few days, retail-therapy-wise. *winks*

and on a separate note, I so want to organise a picnic...
I wanna get a wicker picnic basket and red checked picnic cloth and a glass bottle full of sparkling lemonade and little finger sandwiches and chocolate fingers and a big blue kite.
too bad the weather is throwing a tantrum right now.

I have tons and tons of readings to do. both academic and... well, non-academic.
and it has been the most wonderful weather to curl up and read in an armchair/beanbag/lumpy bed. gloomy skies with periods of rain are meant for people to stay indoors.
just need a cup of chai latte and i'm all set.
I'm recently addicted to chai latte. that satiny finish of cream and spicy notes of cinnamon are absolutely sinful.

***

the parentals have left and it's been quieter, as expected.
finally, dad has seen the new apartment and I would like to think he loved it. lols.
after all, he is sponsoring it!
it's been a hectic, hectic, hectic one week when they were here.

chiong-ing my lit review draft right now.
but oh my oh my oh my, I keep getting distracted by images of KokoBlack's yummylicious choc mousse and homemade banana bread.
why a random banana bread?
because I came across this awesome-looking banana bread picture online and it's making me crave for banana bread.
and now, I can't stop thinking about Aunt Linda's helluva banana bread that was and still is the most heavenly thing I've ever tasted.

I shall go have me a banana now.

of childhoods and blame

2 months solid of AMS-ing.
at Orygen Youth Health.
untangling the mysteries of human psyche.
but even if (heaven forbid!!) I don't completely remember what I've been slaving over this whole year, there's one thing that I will take away with me.

I'm totally grateful for the wonderful childhood and loving family that I've been given.

encountering the teen clients at the centre, listening to them regaling tales of their chilhood.
no tales of rainbows and Barbies and cupcakes and imaginary games.
their not-so-pleasant childhood experiences were and are what defined them, and made them the way they are right now.
sure, in the beginning, I admit I, the ignorant fool that I was, placed blame upon them. I blamed them for not taking responsibilty for their lives, for letting their lives spiral down to such a destructive stage, for not being able to finish school and hold down jobs, for having so much chaos in their lives.
but, as time went on, I realised why there are so many NGOs dedicated to protecting children's rights.
children are pliable. yes, they are resilient. but they are vulnerable too.
it's always a fine balance between resilience and vulnerability.
and it's partly up to caretakers to comprehend that.

the things that the clients had to go through were... horrified, to say the least.
the mental and physical agony that they had to go through at the hands of their so-called support network is indescribable. it's something that I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
and on top of all that, I feel anger.
I'm angry at parents who bring their children into this world, without giving a second thought to a child's needs of security and stability. I'm angry at the non-existence of love and gentle words, of advice and guidance. I'm angry at them, bringing their alcohol- and drug-fueled presence into the household. I'm angry at them, spewing foul words no child should never ever hear. I'm angry at them for not protecting their children from sexual, physical and emotional abuse.
dammit, these parents do not deserve their children.


I'm just glad that I had an awesome childhood, full of sunshine, TV-boxes-turned-spaceship make-believe games, sweets, art classes, laughter and most importantly, love.
so thanks, dad and mum.
I had fun.

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.
Pride and Prejudice
Darcy to Elizabeth, Chapter 58.

sitting in front of stack of notes that are never-ending, I miss Cambodia more than ever.
I miss Nepal too.
and I wish that I was there right now.

a vulnerable emo-mo-mo moment.

I think I just need an eidetic memory.
that's all I ask for.

of Sushi-ness

(i meant to write this post-Sushi's-visit.)
it was a great, hectic, slightly chaotic one week visit.
I'm glad that Sushi and her mum came.
It's been ages since we last hang out like there was no tomorrow, what with her being in NUS and us having different semester breaks.
and through her, I saw Melb in a different light.

Sushi and I have always been inseperable throughout primary school. I think the fact that we both have the same birthdays was a pull factor that got us together in the first place. that and the fact that we live one street away. When you were in primary school, things as simple as those are enough to make a best friend out of anyone.

Secondary school was when the differences mattered. We were stil as close as before, but in a different way. We did do the whole drift-apart-and-get-back-again charade a few times throughout 5 years. because the bottom line is that even though we were born 2 hours apart on the same day at the same hospital in the same ward by the same doctor (our delivering mothers were feet apart from each other in the suite- Sushi's mum still remembered my mum being wheeled in! lols), we have different personalities. We went for different things in school. She was and still is the introvert, the rock, the voice of reason, the calming presence. I was and still is the extrovert, the flighty one, the spontaneous one. We both have the same values in life (family, friends, morality). But we had different groups in different activities and we were brought up differently in different family backgrounds, despite the fact that both sets of parents are still great friends till this day. But I guess it speaks volumes about the fact that we still call each other a sister-from-another-mother. We seldom call each other best friends anymore.

We go to different unis, have different goals in life. But ultimately, the moment I touched down in Malaysia during breaks, the second person I would message would be her, the first being my parents. We have different lives now on different continents. But at the end of the day, we get together for lunch and it feels like we are in primary school again. Girlish giggles abound.

It was an awesome week together.

of Starlight, star bright

Starlight Day was great.
I had fun selling flashing star wands and squishy stress balls that looked like stars.
and I was carrying the pouch full of moolah so everytime my fellow volunteers made a sale aka made a deposit, I felt the pouch getting heavier.
and we did really well. Half of the stuff we brought were gone in 2 hours!
but then again, we totally had our selling strategy down pat.
lols. we had like battle plans for strategic standing locations to sell our wares and strategic conversation starters.
and I looked really young compared to the other volunteers, so I had to smile sweetly and looked at the elderly couples strolling around with big innocent eyes and go "Would you like to help the kids today?". lols.
it's part of the "hook, line, sinker" strategy that we had going on.

it was great fun manipulating the shopping masses.

but I did notice that most of our buyers seemed to be in the middle-income/elderly/family group. they were just out on a Saturday, enjoying Bourke St mall and happened to chance upon our Starlight Children's stall and decided to get a few things to help the kids.
some even came specifically up to our stall to buy merchandise as they knew it was Starlight Day.
whereas those young adults/teens who were toting Sportsgirl/Esprit/Supre shopping bags with annotook a cursory glance and stalked off. it was totally infuriarating. and I seriously do mean that 95% of them just walked off.
if you have the money to buy clothes, couldn't you spare 5 bucks to buy something from us?
and if you already spent all your money buying short Supre dresses, i'm quite sure that you had some spare coins in your pocket from all the shopping right? so just drop some change into the donation bucket then.

this may sound like an overstatement.
but behind the facades of skinny jeans, poofed-up hair, statement tees, oversized shoulder bags, branded luxury items, there really is not much going on in the generosity department.
don't they know that they were kids once upon a time?

I just got this list of top 100 books of all time compiled by BBC.
and I have read only 41 of them.
time to buckle down and get to it.
now I need green tea, a warm throw rug, some chocolate, nice chilly days and a whole lot of moolah to get to the bottom of this perplexing issue.

p.s. I'm truly ashamed for having not read Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird and some of the classics. Instead, I have been floundering around reading bits and pieces of fluff. lols. but I liiike it.

hopefully by the end of this year, I will reach the 60th mark? lols.

I bought lamb kidneys for 5 bucks.
and they shall be our dinner tonight.
can't wait to experiment. yay.
I think I shall put in diced tomatoes, mushrooms, green pepper and onions into it.
oooh and bacon too.

and I have a spot in AMSA's convention this year.
together with Pheyyee, we will rock Brissie and paint it pink!

of talc and exams

we had breast exam tutorials this afternoon, complete with fake boobs with lumps in them and real, live human beings to practice on.
interesting, no?
must mark this day down.
another milestone in med career down and plenty more to go.
breast exam, check!




p.s. the fake boob with the lumps was a surprise. didn't expect the med school to pull out such a teaching aid. for one, it sure didn't feel like a real breast, it felt all rubbery and weird-feeling. and another thing was my tutor whipped out Home Brand Talcum Powder and proceeded to give the fake boobs a dusting down. so the whole breast was covered in white powder which looked way weird. and then this guy in my tutorial went oh-so-cluelessly, "so we need to put talc on the patient's breasts too?" lols.

of would-be-legendary stuff

Sushi is coming to Melbourne!!! *dances a jig maniacally*
I miss my sister-from-another-mother and her coming is like a dream come true for me.
so it's all good.
suddenly, Sem 5 is shaping up to be a great semester.
too bad she's can't be here to celebrate our 21st birthdays together.
if she did come during Easter break, then it's like sweet, sweet icing with a juicy cherry on top of a wonderfully-creamy cake.
but I'll take what I can get and I will savor it.

"it'll be legen-wait for it-dary!!"
- Barney from How I Met Your Mother-

woohoo... I'm on cloud eleven right now.

overdue overdue overdue overdue overdue family post.

happy belated birthday, daddy! shall be back in a blink of an eye and then you can bring me for my beloved meepok. and we can sit around the dining table again and you can tell your chilhood stories of catching frogs to sell for lab experiments etc. and we can have our spontaneous Sunday road trips again through Johor again and you can give your cut-out newspaper articles personally to me. lols. but in the meantime, I miss you loads and you can get my portion of hugs and kisses from mum. xoxo, nut *squared*

and

happy early birthday, mum! you totally got the best friend/confidante/mum part down pat. 21 years of loving and caring, 'nuff said. missing you loads, xoxo.

of that smudge in the sky

oooh, I saw a wedding proposal in skywriting that day in Melbourne for all to see.
"Jo, marry me?"
too bad the pilot was kinda amateur-ish that he took so long to write the words that the "Jo" word was almost smudged away by winds.
by the time the question mark was drawn, it read "*smudge smudge* marry me?". lols
poor guy/girl/wedding proposer (since Jo is kinda an androgynous name and females actually do the proposing nowadays) must be thinking, "And I spent that amount of moolah for a proposal like that??!!"
and since you can't exactly make out the "Jo" word, any Tom, Dick, Harry of a boyfriend about to propose to his girl at that moment can just point to the skywriting and said, "babe, I did that for you. Marry me, *insert name of girlfriend here*?"lols.

I sure hope the guy/girl/weddinh proposer who commisioned the skywriting got his/her money back. lols.

of ageing

I totally can feel the effects of ageing on my body.
last night was BengSze's sweet 21st. (the boy said that there's going to be a helluva 21st parties that I will be attending this year! then only silly me realized that)
and as usual, as per Albert House tradition, nothing started on time and everything will start with a few unscehduled surprises (like Beng walking into a roomful of us who were unaware).
so the shindig only started around 10 plus and lasted till the wee hours of the MORNING.
and as I was standing there with Janice, watching the girls proceed their way through jugs of alcohol and music, I started to feel weary.

yes, I started to feel tired at 11plus. lols.
wow, so now 12 is my bedtime.
and I used to be able to stay up for the whole of the Meddies' Movie Marathon.
geez, I feel my bones creaking already.
whoop-de-doo.


p.s. but I staill had fun at Beng's smashing 21st. happy sweet 21st, girl!! we love you and outrageousness loads and loads. xoxo

of birthdays and Jason Mraz

I have tickets to Jason Mraz's rocking show.
this almost makes up for missing The Script. almost.
I'm still pissed about missing The Script LAST YEAR in concert at Hi-Fi.
but still, Jason Mraz is too cool for school. (I will take lots and lots of pictures for Pheyyee!! lols)
and I will be going with my brother and Janice, one of my fave girls.

and I'm kinda late with these but better late than never, yes?
so happy belated birthdays to Kim and Pheyyee and Shze Yi!

Kim: Happy sweet sweet sweet 21st, babe. Thanks for being in our lives. The last 2 years have been an absolute rollercoaster of Flare dances, Union House lunches, dinners out and plenty of bonding over our plight that is of College Square Swanston St. Couldn't imagine the pre-clinical years without you, and we'll still be stuck to the hip like Siamese twins during AMS, and hopefully when the time comes, we'll still be clinic buddies. To dancing through life together, cheers. xoxo

Pheyyee: To the peptidoglycan layer to my gram negative bacteria, happy sweet 20th, girl. lols. (I hope you'll appreciate the microbe reference: I don't think I would've survived without you by my side) You shall always be immortalised as the cake goddess bearing sweet libations to our weary/hungry souls. Again, without your PBL muffins, we would have been a few pounds lighter. But we are all well-fed little children, thanks to you. lols. But, joke-ey things aside, you totally rock our existence in Melbourne to the very core. Things would be very miserable (and dull) down under without your smile and bursts of laughter. To sweet muffins and sugar highs, cheers. xoxo

Shze Yi: happy sweet 21st, girl! I think I shall KISS for this one, because I think you know how much you mean to me. You being so far away, definitely changed our friendship. We are, after all, miles and miles and oceans and oceans apart. But I still miss you loads, after 3 years. and I love you loads. And fingers crossed, I'll visit you one day and we can stroll down Broadway one day, yes? To high school years of innocence and uni years of maturity, cheers. xoxo


and on a sad note, Mum's leaving tomorrow.=<

my apartment is all prettiness with the comfy lounge and my cosy little nook by the side.
microb is surprisingly interesting.
my internet is up and working, like a dedicated drone bee (??).
i am schticking to my healthy healthy plan, come rain come shine.
the peeps are wonderful, needless to say.
we haven't had any huge bust-ups, me and my brother.
and I just went for lacrosse sessions!

so life's good so far.

except maybe I want a dog.
a big nice dog.
i miss my German Shepherds at home.
so I want a huge huge huge one here.
like a Husky or a German Shepherd or a Lab or a Retriever.
I would so bring it for walkies and feed it treats and groom it till it shines.
and it would just lay on my legs and go to sleep with me.

of Cambodia

I think I'm a third-world-country kinda girl at heart.
I love the image of strolling down Madison Avenue, NYC in my patent leather boots with a gorgeous trench coat.
but ultimately, it's the other side that's greener for me.
i didn't think that it would be this way. but I just happen to slowly realise these insights about myself during the CNY trip.

and as predicted, Cambodia was a blast.
I totally fell hook, line and sinker for that country.
if I had my way, I probably would've stayed there and never come back.
and I can assure you that I will not be staying out of completely altruistic reasons (for the street kids and whatnot), but for once, I will be staying for selfish reasons, for my sake and not others.
sure, I would definitely go the social welfare cum charity route if I stayed there.
but I would also be genuinely happy there.

it had such a peaceful existence.
it was ravaged by a horrifying past.
but it was nonetheless, awe-inspiring and beautiful, amidst its ruins.

and when I was there, I felt boundless energy.

*kudos to dad and mum for teaching me the art of seeing something beautiful among its sham and drudgery. thank you for letting us explore our way through.*

of loves

currently listening to Eli Mattson's MySpace songs.
*I have an all-consuming crush on him*
I love his quirky-shaped eyebrows, his blue, blue, blue eyes.

and another thing I love is Michele Obama's lovely Jason Wu white, one-shouldered dress for the ball.
that is one heck of a miracle dress.
sure hope that dress is some good sign for US of A.

and absolutely can't wait for the CNY trip.
I'm dying to go see the temples in Angkor Wat, eat some fried street bugs, buy some traditional Khmer scarfs, cry over the genocide museum and the Killing Fields and most of all, I want to fall head-over-heels in love with the Cambodian street children and visit the charity school on the lake with our bags of goodies.
we're combining charity with recreation this holiday and we're roughing it.
and I'm totally loving the itinerary.

I *love* my girls.
The sleepover was all mahjong, board games, booze, food, gossip and giggles.
and I can't wait for the CNY Cambodia trip.

of the new year and the legal age

my attachment ended and the new year began.
the girls were wonderfully, reassuringly the same after years apart.
though I have to say that Sushi made herself into the epitome of demure lady that we all know her for.
and I wished I had somewhere cool to bring them for the countdown but I am again, disappointed by the lack of night time entertainment here in JB, or rather the lack of the decent sort.
I knew Sushi was desperately hankering for some girls clubbing/pubbing sesh. lols.
the dinner made a great ending to my year.
it sort of brought together all the different elements of my life as a 20-year-old that made me the female that I am now. (I wish to use the word "girl" but it seems a tad OTT since I am supposed to be 21 years of age today onwards. lols.)

my childhood friends + my family=
the ever-expanding family of sorts.

here's to a new year.