of opening doors and battlescars

people say 'one door closes and another one opens'.
and even though it's not quite the same door as the last one that slammed shut in my face, i'll still take it with outstretched hands.
because if that's what is meant to be, then so be it.
I'd rather live for myself then pine it away.

and I've always believed that everything happens for a good reason.
not saying that I'll slum around waiting for an opening.
you still got to work your arse off for it.
but i've had many fair share of disappointments in my life which I've had the battlescars to parade around.
and somehow, by believing in that little philosophy, it doesn't sting as much.
and everyone knows that the key to a happy long stress-free life is well... happiness and no stress.
so if that little line is true, then everything falls into place at the right time, right place with the right people in the right circumstances.
it happens for a good good good good reason.

then I guess this tightly-shut door is probably not a good reason.
I was hoping it would be right in all the ways, but it seems not to be the right time or circumstances for quite a long time.
and I thought that just with the right people, it would just become and gel and solidify and create something quite amazing and wonderful.
but still, TFTM.

seen quite a number of aeroplanes these few days, even though I was kept indoors.
and as unoriginal as this sounds, I kinda wish now that they were shooting stars because then I would get a whole bunch of wishes.
and even though I've been pretty much a very lucky kid not wanting of anything thus far and have the most perfect family and friends, there are still things that are on my wish list off the top of my head right now.
lols.
want much?



and I've been wishing for quite a while now but I think this is one shooting star that's destined to crash and burn. Literally. Officially today.
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.
Note to self: repeat mantra 10000000x everyday.

of preludes

2nd week: DONE!
flew by like the wind.
the group's been awesome and awfully supportive.
I must have had done a thousand and one good deeds in my past life to deserve such nice people.
and it's a whole lot easier now to blend into the hospital setting. the nice officewear mum got me definitely helped ease the transition. lols.
but on a serious note, it's better now. much much better.
and i'm starting to enjoy the various perks that comes with the statement 'I'm a student doctor' and wearing my fuchsia pink (I'm shameless that way. but in my defense, I'm a very visual person. bright bright bright bright colours make my day!) stethoscope around my neck.
i'm learning to sit back and enjoy the ride.
it's tough as nails and not for the faint-hearted but there's a big difference between 'this has been what I've always wanted to do' and 'I have no idea why I'm trying this hard'.
and thankfully, I belong to the former category.
and those 5 pre-clinical semesters were just a long, unavoidable prelude to all this awesomeness.

and eventhough I still feel as small as a squash-able bacteria whenever some consultant grills me on the different types of eczema and I reply with an intelligent "ummmm", I still wake up at 6am with no complaints and take the earlier train so I can get there just in time to put my tote into the locker and walk down the now-familiar hallway with a bound in my step.
because I remember that my ultimate dream job is just a few steps away and I can totally see now that I'm on my way there.

of onesies and dermatology

have been gorging myself with bloody, pus-ey, gross pictures of thingamajigs that grow on skin all day yesterday, thanks to the damn Derm rotation.
enough was enough.
so headed out for much-needed sunshine and yummy goodness on a bright Sunday morning in the form of warm crusty (no, not that kinda crust with dried serum, blood and cellular debris in the Derm clinics) ricotta hotcakes with blueberries and the company of the BFG.
I'm having this obsession with blueberries right now. Blue naevi, anyone? OMG, need to stop with the Derm glossary items!

and came home with sackful of groceries, salmon pate and baguette (whenever I carry the baguette, I always get transported mentally to Paris) from my beloved French charcuterie and the cutest blanket sleeper/onesie/bunny suit pyjamas in blue for the BFG from Peter Alex. I saw that adorable thing in the shop window just yesterday and have been hankering to get it for the BFG and today, the BFG took one look and wanted one right away and is happily wearing it around the apartment right now with the cutest look of glee.

definition of blanket sleeper: a one-piece of pyjama that consists of long pants and sleeves akin a long playsuit!
defintion of BFG: Big, Friendly Giant (inspired by dear Mr Dahl from one of my fave children's book) aka the brother's latest nickname

now the BFG looks like an overgrown baby in blue!