just a quick celebratory post for my very 1st week in adult clinical school.
pre-clinical uni years were baby clinical school.
now i'm playing in the bigger leagues, so gotta up the ante.

have just barely survived the 1st week, with not as much emotional or psychological scarring as I thought I would have, though the physical and mental part is kinda taxing, after a whole year of nice, relaxing AMS research.
now it's back to the 9 to 5 game, with exams and impromptu quizzes tossed in.
so the moment I got back home slightly earlier than usual on Friday evening and didn't have the responsibility of feeding the BFG, I curled up in a ball and slept for an hour.
and let me tell you this, I'm never one for naps. I don't nap. period.
but I just couldn't help myself. the bed looked so inviting.

other than a much-needed weekend respite, it's been a good week, chock full of newly-established relationships and newly-relearnt information.
the buddy has been an absolute hoot to hang out with, and I'm mighty glad I swiped him up when buddies were up for grabs. I don't think I would've wanted it any other way. and now, the comedian that he is, has taken to call me his PA aka the JB gangster girl, thanks to me telling him one day that my greatgrandfather was a triad boss in JB.
I'm still searching for a nice, kick-ass nickname to peg him with.
gotta go dig up more dirt on him then.

but until then, back to those bloody (pun intended) dermatological conditions.

of new beginnings and not-quite-endings

Dear Sandra,

It's been slightly more than 6 months and I'm getting better at this. Maybe time does heal all wounds or maybe it's just getting a bit intense right now at clinical school and I'm kept busy. But not to worry, babe, you're never far away from my thoughts. And thanks for teaching me patience and the acceptance of the inevitable.

and tomorrow's the start of something new and scary. I'll feel like an idiot most of the time I expect and then there will be lightbulb moments too. More of the lightbulb moments I pray. and even though I know I'm doing this all for myself, there are still external factors at play here which I do not want to let down. I pray that I'll be just that little bit more brave and mature and not lose any of myself in the process. So, watch over me. After all, you never got that well-deserved milestone and I want you to see it unfold every step of the way.

To new beginnings and not-quite-endings,
xoxo


p.s. I wonder why it still stings just that little bit. it's been quite a while, hasn't it? maybe I just need that hoped-for male ego boost, but it seems that it's a long way coming, babe. I wonder whether I should still play Patience by myself or abandon card-playing for something else.

of UHU glue and guy candy

the thing about having a best friend born on the same day as you in the same damn hospital ward exactly 22 years ago and knowing each other for the past 15 years is that you're stuck being sisters for life.
let's face it: there must be some divine intervention up above basically Uhu-glueing you two together, whether you like it or not.

so since she got herself some boy candy on her arm, i got to do my job and make sure the guy is not some kinda no-balls scumbagjerkpig, all rolled into one.
and i went surveying with Edna in tow, which consisted of a Thai dinner and an overnight stay at her hostel.
and i saw a different side of her.
she giggles now.
she blushes now.
she even stays up late at night now. (which she almost never does, even for exams)
it's an amazing, sweet, cute change.
she's still the same old down-to-earth sister that i never had.
except for the occasional sweet blush on her cheeks, her bashful comments about him, that 'Mars and Venus in a Relationship' book by her bed.
and her asking me about all the mechanics of relationships, which i might not the be the best person to ask, seeing as i've had 2 failed relationships, of 1 which is the classic example of a bad relationship.
the guy in her life seems decent enough to be gentlemanly, responsible enough to be the chairperson of 2 committees, humorous enough to make her giggle, special enough to make her overlook the fact that 1) he's one year younger 2)he's the same height as her (being taller than her WAS a prerequisite).
and eventhough i was hoping that she would get a guy that matched her exact ideal type (being together for 15 years made me well aware of her ideal guy type) and this present one happens to match only half of the prerequisites, when she asked my opinion of the guy,
i said, "as long as he makes you feel special and beautiful, and you go to bed with a smile on your face after he calls to say goodnight to you, and you wake up and think it's gonna be an awesome day because you get to see him, and your quarrels are nothing compared to his sweet smses, and you willingly make sacrifices for each other without losing yourselves in the process, and most importantly, you feel genuinely happy just being with him without feeling guilty, then he's a keeper. and he can count me as a friend anytime anywhere, as long as he doesn't make you cry because if he does, i know people in Penang who have quite important strings."

and she blushingly said, "i do feel happy with him."

and that was enough for me. for the time being.
and eventhough i have this intensifying niggling tinge in my heart that reminds me that there's a 3rd person now in this 2-person deal i have with her, it's ok as long as she still blushes and giggles and is sweet and happy... and of course, still calls me by my chinese name and is around to have late-night MSN convos with.

of cycling and fair babies

another great thing that came out from the medical volunteer thingy is my current addiction to cycling.
I so want a bicycle when I get back to Melbourne.
preferably one that is white or light blue and has a nice wicker basket in the front.
so the parents had enough of me going on and on about how cycling is oh-so-thrilling, and took the BFG and me off for a Sunday chock full of small towns in the Johor state.

since we were going up north, we decided to go as up north as we could possibly go and ended up at my godsister's homely place.
she just had a baby girl 3 months ago.
so up we went to catch our 1st glimpse of Princess Joey and welcome her into the family.
and we whipped out our package full of Pumpkin Patch cute togs handpicked all the way from Melb for the princess as a welcome gift.
and the moment I saw my little niece, I swear this particular lyric came into mind:

So they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold
and starlight in your eyes of blue.
- Close To You - The Carpenters -

she had the fairest-almost-translucent skin and the biggest darkest orbs that you can totally sink yourself in and the most amazing, tantalising baby smell ever.
and your heart would totally melt when she grabs your finger with her perfect little soft hands with the cutest tiniest fingernails on them.
and embarrassingly enough, I had this jolt of reality when I caught myself surprised at Joey's super fair skin because for the past month, I've been around Cambodian babies that are super tanned, like a miniature me and I kinda got accustomed to the fact that babies, in general, are born tanned, like me. lols.
and even though Joey is but 3 months old, she has got a full head of downy, wispy hair that smells super good too.
and we decided that she would be the cutest AND smartest baby around the Muar area so we proceeded to sing her nursery rhymes and teach her the alphabet.
the alphabet was a wee bit ambitious but we managed to get her to say 'A'. but then again, it might be just some sound that she liked making at the moment because for some reason, it came out 'Ahhhh', instead of the standard 'A' pronunciation. and anxious little me decided that she just might start sprouting full English words miraculously anytime soon so I proceeded to teach her that A is for Apple.
and dad went, "since you're teaching her Apple, might as well teach her to say 'iPad', 'iPod' and 'iPhone'!" haha, very funny, dad who is a techno noob.
but who cares, I've already made up my mind to shower my little niece with pretty pink summer dresses and picture books from Melbourne when I come back again in December. I've decided that Joey shall be the spunkiest, smartest, prettiest, coolest girl on the block.

then off for lunch at this old-school coffee shop in the middle of some hick-town that had the bestest steam fish before heading off for a postprandial cycle at an organic fruit and veggie farm which I was totally looking forward to.
with 4 weeks of perpetual cycling on a bumpy dirt road under my belt, I thought it would be a breeze.
and most of the farm's track was an easy trek but there were a few steep mountain (literally) climbs and my creaking rusty bike refused to change gears.
so being all gung-ho, I decided that tackling the steep climb head-on was the way to go, so cycling as fast as I could go seemed to be the solution, since changing gears was out of the question.
and it worked 3/4 of the way until my bike stopped crawling forward and proceeded to roll backwards in slow-mo.
and that was when I hopped off the bike willy-nilly and pushed the bike uphill, with no less embarrassment by the way.
blardy steep trails. I just managed to make it to the top of a teeny one. again, blardy steep trails.
and as a reward, yummy refreshing dragonfruit juice all around after the cycling trip.

current list of things to do:
- go for more spinning classes
- conquer the blardy steep trails at that farm the next time I come back. no pushing the bikes up, thank you very much. I refused to be subjected to such embarrassment again.
- after conquering the farm trails, conquer Mt Kinabalu.