slogging away on the dreaded theses.
MIKA is trying to cheer me up.
so many mugs of green tea that i think i'm turning green.

I wanna watch Kick-Ass!!
superhero movies are sooo up my alley.
and MIKA did a great job for the OST.
he delivered the goods all right, as usual.
I so want the OST now to make my day.


"we are young, we are strong,
we're not looking for where we belong.
we're not cool, we are free,
and we're running with blood on our knees"

of phases

One thing some people don't really know about me:
I have phases that I grow into and then grow out.
and I think my parents have always hoped and prayed that I would grow out of the whole 'having phases' thing.
coz my 'phases' affair cost them quite a bit of trouble.

there was one time I was crazily into the Egyptian civilisation.
my dad calls himself an 'armchair archeologist' since he fancies himself an Asian version of Indy Jones (who is like my absolute fave TV persona) and I think he's just too lazy to go out and trot the globe like Indy Jones. so he just sits there and reads and reads and reads like there's no tomorrow.
and because of that, I got into the whole Egyptian thing for a few months.
I read my dad's collection then proceeded to scour the miserable bookshops in JB.
I daydreamed of being Cleopatra.
I watched The Mummy and Indy Jones a thousand times.
and I even went a step further and decorated my class notice boards in that theme.
yes, I had the whole Egyptian enchilada going on. I had hieroglyphs running up and down the sides, sheets of sandpaper everywhere and my mum went to the pharmacy and cleaned out the entire stock of cloth bandages just so I could make a true blue 5-foot-tall mummy. none of that fake paper crap, thank you very much. I cut a Styrofoam mummy out then proceeded to wrap it in bandages and gave it googly eyes. It was the most beautiful thing I made! lols. and I secretly named it Clemmy the Mummy. it had to RHYME, of course.
and I think the bandages cost my mum a bomb. lols. but it was just so pretty.

and then before that, I had the whole space fantasy thing going on.
and we had this huge box that our new TV came in.
so for a few Sundays, my brother and I got into the damn box and proceeded to have 'space adventures'.

and then there was the whole Nanibird affair where I proceeded to print out tens of those colourful bird origami and made them.
and there was a whole fleet of birds on my cupboard in Trinity. like a regular apiary.

and I totally have art phases too.
there was one time I was way into crayons.
and another where I did nothing but oils for a few months.
and I nearly went into a scrapbook phase but thankfully, I bought a couple of mags and realized it was too expensive to maintain and scrapped the idea. pun intended.

and I have music phases too.
I am now unhealthily obsessed with DanM and Duffy. and I can't wait for her new album!

and of course I have book phases too.
Potter, LOTR, Meg Cabot etc.
and there was once I fancied myself to be philosophical so I read The Secret and proceeded to be skeptical about it for a few weeks. lols.

I am 22 now.
but I still have phases.
except I keep them on the down low.
I don't need people going all bug-eyed when I tell them my latest fetish, thank you very much.

of 22

Yes, I'm officially 'less younger' now.
and it's a beautiful warm balmy Sunday afternoon.
it's one of those rare sunshiny weekends in the midst of a cold snap. and I like to think it's nature's birthday gift to moi, a summer baby who nearly got sadly frozen solid last week.

and i'm sipping my yummy lemon tea in my pretty pink mug, complete with flower motif and a huge saucer (courtesy of dear Kim who is my absolute fave AMS buddy).
and my uber precious bicycle luggage tag (courtesy of PY, the baking goddess of my life) is standing on my study lamp. my leafy journal and pen is safely on my nightstand, girl. lols.
and I've got one more new addition to my horde of unread books (thanks to Rach) and another Borders voucher from the primary school peeps. woohoo.
and I've another pretty addition to my study table. a pristine-white stationary holder from KikkiK from Jacqjacq.
and I've got another pretty clutch to choose from when I go out to paint the town red (thanks to J and Sha). and it's in that pretty turquoise colour that you seldom get anywhere.
and I'm waiting for a wintry night to indulge in Kylie's (who's my lifesaver in AMS) hot choc and pecan bikkies.
and mum and dad as usual, got me a beautiful present.
and can I just say how well my girls know me??!!

but even when I'm surrounded by my horde of new treasures, the cards and messages and tags that came with them are still the most precious for me.
dad always has little nuggets of wisdom that he'll give out all the time when I was young, even when I had no idea what it meant and I would just nod along sagely and pretend that I understood his philosophy lessons.
and one of them came to mind as I put away oh-so-carefully the little gems of words that came with the pretty gifts.
"This too shall pass"
eventually, I'll exchange the voucher for books
I'll finish Rach's book
the stationery holder, the clutch, the luggage tag, the pen will sadly succumb to wear and tear
the mug might get smashed
ditto for the hot choc and bikkies and journal.

but I'll have my drawerful of little cards of sweet, touching messages that I would never exchange for anything in the world.
and I've been surrounded by words my whole life.
and that's why those little gems matter the most to me.

*I have 2 fave cards out of the whole lot. one that mum and dad gave me when I turned 21 that I bluetagged to my wall. and the second one from the baking goddess a few days ago. *


and I got the nicest birthday present from my sister-from-another-mother who is just 2 hours older than me and that I've known for practically 3/4 of my life.
she's happily in the throes of her first relationship.
and I was so so so so so happy for her coz she's the sweetest, mildest-mannered girl I've known.
and I love her to bits.
and any guy would be lucky beyond words to be with her.
but being the overprotective 'younger' twin, I totally FB-stalked him and asked around to make sure he was a decent guy, and not some annoying egoistical jerk.
well, it probably was a little extreme to be doing that all the way in Melbourne, when they are in Singapore.
but hey, this is my 'twin' I'm talking about. 'nuff said.
and it was soooo cute when she talked about how she misses him, and how she wants to be with him constantly. it's still the 'honeymoon' stage for them. and boy, was it surprising hearing that from her! she's always the more rational one between the 2 of us, the quieter, the one that has her feet planted firmly on the ground, never the emotional one, never the rash one.
and seeing this side of her is adorable.
and I admit that I'll feel a bit leftout when I go back to see her in June, because now there's also him there. and his calls might be a tad more important to her now.

even so, it's the nicest birthday gift that she can ever give me:
her being in love and being pampered and spoiled like the precious sweet little thing that she is.
that night, I fell asleep with a silly grin on my face.

of heels

I may look like a robust, strapping girl of 21 about to turn 22. lols.
but I'm quite tiny compared to my much-taller friends and even-taller Melbournians.
so, heels are quite the way to go.
too bad I love my white Keds-like and black studded flats too damn much for comfort's sake.

but I've seen the most amazing heels around and heel heights are soaring recently.
even Yahoo! had an article about it.
apparently, heel heights go up, up, up when there's like a recession going on eg the Great Depression during the 1930s, the oil crisis in 1950s and when the dotcom bubble burst during the 2000s.
and of course, there's a great big stinky global financial crisis going on right now.
and wearing sky-high heels gives women a sense of 'escapism'.
it might sound silly but I think I can understand.
when I put on a pair of heels, it no doubt makes me taller, but it also just changes the way I look, walk. at the risk of sounding ditzy, heels make me feel confident and all woman. you get the extra sparkle in your eyes, the extra 5 cm for your legs, the extra sheen to your complexion, the extra muscle tone in your calves.
yes, I make heels sound like magic shoes. but it does that for me.

grrrr.... if only I can walk around long enough in them for people to notice the Mel Version 2.0.
lols.

of Sydney and today

I'm loyal to Melb like that.
It was one non-stop eating, sightseeing trip to Sydney with the girls. Shall summarise it in those words post coz I'm lazy like that.

Aching feet pounding the pavement.
3 girls in an apartment = nonstop slumber party.
Sydney sunshine.
Fresh sashimi.
Bondi love but none of the hunky eyecandy.
Crazy Supre purchases.
Afro Funk.
Paddington that reminded me of the bear.
Living in the 2nd hand bookshop slash cafe.
Hurricane ribs.
Fried Mars bar.
Fresh fresh fresh pasta.
German mango beer.
King Lear.

and I'm one heck of map-reader/navigator, thank you very much.
Take that, you who says that I'm directionally-challenged!
I only got us lost ONCE throughout 3 and a half days. So there.
And the other time didn't count, coz we were on the right street. I just got the numbers mixed-up.


and I know that I cut the strings already. But it still stings when you parade for all to see. Whoop de do.
I have a mind to go do one of those witchy dancing chanting bonfire things to rid myself of the presence because it happens to be that day. lols.


and Sandra, it also happens to be the 3rd month since you've been gone. Your grandmother must be with you there, huh? So you probably won't be that lonely. I've been good these few months, trundling along with my theses and I'm going to turn 22 in a few days. And this time, my birthday will feel different, what with you gone and all that happened. But, I hope and I know you'll be there with me. I still miss you but it's been easier to breathe now whenever something reminds me of you and I was able to walk along normally that day when I saw someone that looked like you in Sydney. My heart skipped a beat for an instant but I forced myself to look down at my map and just occupied myself with navigation. And I kept telling myself, that it was merely one of those mirages. And a few seconds later, I looked up and we neared the girl and she was clearly not you. You were much more effervescent and bubbly.

Even though we weren't best friends and we didn't talked all the time, I hope you know how much you mean to me and how indelible your presence in my life was and still is.
It's getting better with time, Sandra. The moment it doesn't is when I'll throw up a light and wait for someone. I promise.

oooh, I toally forgot to write that my godsister gave birth to the cutest little girl-muffin.
it's like a commemorative day for me.
even though I've been an aunt a few times already (geez, kids these days grow up waaay too fast), but this is like the very first time I'm a godaunt (this term is right, right?).
and check this out: the little princess is named Joey Tok, Tok being the surname of course.
but I just think it's really cool that my little godniece is called Joey! it's like the name of one of those funky, confident, altheletic, painfully-cool, hip girl. a girl called Joey has none of those princessy, whiny, bitchy business, thank you very much.

oooh, I so can't wait to meet the girl of the hour.
but how I wish she could've waited til my birthday.
my godsister was hoping we could share the same birthday. but too bad, Joey was too impatient.
I can't wait to buy lots of pretty funky clothes for her.
and I need to get her some picture books too. I want my godniece to be a reader. lols.

managed to finish He's Just Not That Into You in a record 2 days.
my speed-reading is back, my friend.
and what an insightful read it was.
sharp as tacks and hilarious.
the kinda book that tells it as it is.
all about tough love, no frills or thrills, setting the bar up high.
and even though it was kinda hard to swallow at first, at the end of it, you feel like the awesome girl that you are.
note to self: don't waste the pretty.

when I was a kid, we used to go out to the gardens on Sundays. My parents would drag me and Qiang along for a jog and they would promise us a trip to the swings.
and like every public property in JB, the swings were rusty.
and we would lower ourselves very gingerly onto the seats, careful not to cut ourselves.
and our parents would push away.
and as a kid, I was rather afraid of heights due to this tiny, scary-as-hell accident that involved chubby little me and those evil monkey bars.
but I would always gather that little bit left of courage and urged my parents to "push me higher to the skies". the clouds then were so fluffy.

and then we would always go this slope on the other side that looked down on one of the main roads of JB that fronted the straits of Johor.
the sea breeze would be wonderful.
and there were always so many kites.
and if we were good, my parents would have brought one along.
and we would take off our shoes and socks and run around barefoot on the cool grass, while my mum would yell at us about the various worms that would tunnel their way right into our soles and into our hearts and brains.

and at the end of the whole jogging and swing and kiting fiasco came the absolute highlight of the week.
this steep bukit-like grassy slope.
and I would again gather that little bit of courage and run madly down the slope with Qiang, shouting wildly.
we would seriously run pell-mell down a steep slope.
oh hell, I was damn afraid of tumbling down and breaking all my 206 bones.
but it was kinda liberating.

well, today, I got to lie on the grass again, barefeet, with lovely music playing and the fluffy clouds and bubbles above.
all I needed was a swingset and a steep slope.

i'm falling overboard.


reading is going at a slower pace right now. but managed to finish 2 books this week. starting on He's Just Not That Into You which is sarcastic as tacks and enjoyable thus far. gotta remember it since I'm now single and ready to mingle. lols.