Condolences...

and there there was a sms that told me everything and yet nothing.

it's kinda ironic how life throws you a pebble and you just fall right down dazed with a bruise on your knee and you just sit there, gazing at nothing with the outward signs of bleeding and the pain in your heart.

it's so not what i expected.

it's so not what i wished for.

and it's certainly not what i would want for my dear friend.

it's not even something that you would wish upon your bitterest of enemies for goodness sake.

darn it all...

my books are opened and nothing is going in. it's just the realization of it all occupying every cell in my body....

All i can say and want to say to her right beside her, holding her hand is...

I'm sorry for everything that happened....
Words can't even express how sorry I am for everything.
There's this lump of sadness weighing me down
and also, regret for not being able to see him for the last time.
and now, i'm back in Melbourne and he has passed on to a better place.
and how I wish I just said "Hi" to him "How good it is to see you again!"
and most of all, how I wish I could have met up with her before i came back
how I wish we could be together once again, everything like normal.

Now, everything will be different.
But I know she will be strong.
She always was.
and always will be.
And she has her family around her
Her friends
God

I still remember vaguely the few times that I did see him and talk to him, he was always the smiley one, always laughing, pretty much the mold from where you were made from. my first impression of him was he was very much like Mr Santa Claus, minus the tummy and white beard, but with a full head of white hair, definitely warm and friendly.

I pray that you'll be alright, my dear. I know you will be strong for your sake and those that depend on you. But in times that you are not, just look beside you and we'll be there, with chocs, hankies, flowers, shoulders to cry on, anything you need. we'll do anything for you. I know I will for the wonderful girl that you are and will be.

And he will be proud of you and everything that you are and will be.

And he'll live on in your heart and ours always.


XOXO Mel who is heartbroken