of dream jobs and Buddha babies

Dream job: Medecins sans frontieres

and they say the 1st step to any destination is often the longest, steepest, hardest stride.
so, together with the baking goddess and the ex-boy-next-door, I took the 1st step.
and the next thing I knew, I was in jeans and a stripey tee, setting foot down in the middle of rural rural rural (gotta emphasize how rural the place is!) Cambodia in sweltering dusty heat.

and the next next thing I knew, I was sharing a room, complete with mozzy nets, with the baking goddess and sharing a house with 2 dogs, 3 cats, numerous hens, 1 rooster that crows at weird intervals, countless bugs, the Khmer host family and a few volunteers.

and then, I was taking rounds with Cambodian doctors in a rural regional setting with a translator in tow and playing with Buddha babies in the Paeds ward. and then, I was mixing cement and scrapping paint off rusty beds and mending them and painting them a pretty cobalt blue and chopping trees down. and then, I was spending the afternoons watching the very-charming surgeon suture neat little stitches with as little string as the hospital can spare, eating Khmer ice cream, chatting/sign-languaging with the cute student nurses, devouring desserts at the local dessert stall and trying to get the roving little kids to tell us their names.

and all throughout that, I learnt to really read again, no thanks to crazy workload and hours in medical school and thanks to long long long afternoon siesta lunch hours established by the French in Cambodia and the very comfy hammock and my eBook reader. I also learnt quite a number of Khmer words to get by and to tell the very-friendly Khmers who insisted that I must be Khmer, thanks to my tanned complexion and my supposedly-Khmer ears and other features, that I'm from Malaysia (kunyom mopi Malaysi!!!).

TBC

Dear Sandra,

In another 2 weeks' time, it'll be 6 months. Half a year. And I always thought I've pretty much kept a lid on the grief and loss issue and I thought I was well past the aching stage. But, when I finally saw you, I'm sure you saw me bawl my eyes out like a baby, like everything happened just yesterday. You would think that after 5 months plus of slowly adjusting to the idea of loss, completing a 10000-word theses and surviving a month in rural Cambodia, I would be able to look at things in perspective and hold myself together and basically not bawl like a baby. But, the moment when I actually stood in front of you and saw your beautiful beautiful beautiful face in all its black-and-white glory, I'm sure you felt me start to tremble.

And then, I saw your epitaph "Joie de vivre - till we meet again". And that was all it took, Sandra. It's been 5 months plus but it really didn't matter, did it? Coz at that instant and also right now, the wound feels as fresh as yesterday. These past months, I often see you in my mind and it gets a little easier to breathe whenever something or someone reminds me of you and my breath doesn't catch in my throat. You know I've cried my share already in Melbourne. And I wanted to come say goodbye to you properly for your sake and mine. And I'm glad I did, even though it hurts every bit as raw as before. Because there are things that just had to be said in person.

And our fathers had the time of their lives that day. They totally regressed back to their childhood days and did crazy stuff like eating 30 durians for dinner and waiting for coconut shakes. And Michelle was there the whole day, with your two adorable sisters. And did you see how tall Clara got nowdays?! She's like some kinda beansprout! She's way taller than me. and the way she eats her rice and dishes separately is totally adorable! And Laura is getting so spunky and cool now with the whole volleyball love affair. You know I'm a klutz when it comes to any ball stuff, so Laura with her spiker role is very admirable to uncoordinated people like me. And Michelle is the same crazy, cheerful, bubbly girl as before. You girls used to tell the craziest stories and go off on wild tangents and I was just happy to tag along and listen and occasionally pull you girls back down to earth. It was just 4 of us girls for the day, and it was good. But at lunch, I unconsciously did a quick lookaround the table, wondering a little belatedly about the absence.

I miss you, Sandra Wong. My nose prickles a little when I see your name. Your blog is still on my blog roll. Your name is still on my MSN contact list. Your mobile number is still in my phone. I still can't say the D word yet. I still think it's unfair that you're gone too soon. You left so indelible a presence that the world feels a little bit emptier without you occupying it physically. But I know you're still around, you're still around your dad and mum and sisters. And I hope sometimes, you'll come see me too.

xoxo

I'm not sure whether it's coz of the thesis, the ongoing drama or the passage of time, but thoughts of Sandra lessen nowadays.
I'm not too sure whether that's a good thing.
it's only been 4 months.

but this time when I go back, I'm coming to see you, Sandra.

I wake up
eat
edit my thesis
eat
edit my thesis
go for a fitness class (a girl needs to have some fresh air)
eat
edit my thesis
sleep.

whoa, how happening am I??!!

but in between bouts of hair-pulling and frantic flipping through articles and comfort eating, I get nice msn messages from the girls, which are like nuggets of warm melty chocolate. and heck care the internet quota, Youtube keeps me sane (korean MVs are hilarious!)

it's late.
and the baking goddess msned me and said that random people have been posting comments on my blog and whatnot.
and lo and behold. there they were.

either have something meaningful to say or kindly read and navigate to other blogs where you can write about silly things.
thank you very much.

boy, i do sound catty.
but i blame late-night hunger pangs and my godforsaken thesis.
and of course, people who irritate the hell out of me.

there is a plate of gooey, fudgy, honest-to-sinful-goodness choc brownies in my fridge.
ahhh, the little gastronomical pleasures of life, thank you.
and I've yet to offered anyone my little slices coz the nearest test subject is a baking goddess. and us mere mortals dare not offer up any baking goodies, because... well, her nickname reveals all.

and i dragged my brownie-fattened butt out of bed today at an ungodly hour this morning to get to a 7am fitness class.
so feeling totally virtuous today because of that, i got a yummy mocha, coz I figured after an hour of grunting and sweating and a bowl of muesli later, I deserved something special.
then I realized mocha is coffee + full-cream-milk + chocolate + sugar. and I proceeded to slurp everything down without giving a second thought. lols.

and I took my little S out for the 1st time today.
and if I do say so myself, man, did I feel like a rock chick (-wannabe perhaps? lols) with my leather jacket and the little S and Tokio Hotel playing!
all I was missing was kohl-lined eyes, black nail polish, killer boots and a smirk.
I went through the rock phase when I was in secondary school aka teenage rebellion era. and all I listened to was Linkin Park, The Police, Metallica, U2 etc. ooh and Aerosmith!
I think the older you get, the mellower your music tastes become, coz you just can't keep up with the manic beats anymore!
but BonJovi and The Eagles still rock my socks.
I'm not that old yet.

i don't care.
imma make some gooey, messy, rich, melty, sinful saucepan brownies tonight.
i need the sugar to keep up my concentration.

need to get back on the laundry and theses horse.
so a words post again.

birthdays season is upon me.
so happy birthday, my special best friend (lols, haven't used that term in a while). it's been ages since we did both our birthdays together. and I kinda miss you, not a whole lot, mind you. so don't get a bubble head. and I enjoy the random little smses that came out from nowhere and nothing. I'm waiting for a spin in the car when I head back soon.
and attended a ultra-chillax party yesterday, followed by another one this evening (which reminds me to dig through the closet for a cocktail dress) and then my little brother is turning 20 and my sane-est girlfriend's party in 2 weeks.
la-di-da. it's the social butterfly season.

jelly beans rock.
late-night MSN convos with the girl.
theses-chionging.
tea addict.
mocha lover.
and last but not least....
hello, Sennheiser surround system! *dances an Irish jig in glee*
it's too pretty and precious.
so thank you.

slogging away on the dreaded theses.
MIKA is trying to cheer me up.
so many mugs of green tea that i think i'm turning green.

I wanna watch Kick-Ass!!
superhero movies are sooo up my alley.
and MIKA did a great job for the OST.
he delivered the goods all right, as usual.
I so want the OST now to make my day.


"we are young, we are strong,
we're not looking for where we belong.
we're not cool, we are free,
and we're running with blood on our knees"

of phases

One thing some people don't really know about me:
I have phases that I grow into and then grow out.
and I think my parents have always hoped and prayed that I would grow out of the whole 'having phases' thing.
coz my 'phases' affair cost them quite a bit of trouble.

there was one time I was crazily into the Egyptian civilisation.
my dad calls himself an 'armchair archeologist' since he fancies himself an Asian version of Indy Jones (who is like my absolute fave TV persona) and I think he's just too lazy to go out and trot the globe like Indy Jones. so he just sits there and reads and reads and reads like there's no tomorrow.
and because of that, I got into the whole Egyptian thing for a few months.
I read my dad's collection then proceeded to scour the miserable bookshops in JB.
I daydreamed of being Cleopatra.
I watched The Mummy and Indy Jones a thousand times.
and I even went a step further and decorated my class notice boards in that theme.
yes, I had the whole Egyptian enchilada going on. I had hieroglyphs running up and down the sides, sheets of sandpaper everywhere and my mum went to the pharmacy and cleaned out the entire stock of cloth bandages just so I could make a true blue 5-foot-tall mummy. none of that fake paper crap, thank you very much. I cut a Styrofoam mummy out then proceeded to wrap it in bandages and gave it googly eyes. It was the most beautiful thing I made! lols. and I secretly named it Clemmy the Mummy. it had to RHYME, of course.
and I think the bandages cost my mum a bomb. lols. but it was just so pretty.

and then before that, I had the whole space fantasy thing going on.
and we had this huge box that our new TV came in.
so for a few Sundays, my brother and I got into the damn box and proceeded to have 'space adventures'.

and then there was the whole Nanibird affair where I proceeded to print out tens of those colourful bird origami and made them.
and there was a whole fleet of birds on my cupboard in Trinity. like a regular apiary.

and I totally have art phases too.
there was one time I was way into crayons.
and another where I did nothing but oils for a few months.
and I nearly went into a scrapbook phase but thankfully, I bought a couple of mags and realized it was too expensive to maintain and scrapped the idea. pun intended.

and I have music phases too.
I am now unhealthily obsessed with DanM and Duffy. and I can't wait for her new album!

and of course I have book phases too.
Potter, LOTR, Meg Cabot etc.
and there was once I fancied myself to be philosophical so I read The Secret and proceeded to be skeptical about it for a few weeks. lols.

I am 22 now.
but I still have phases.
except I keep them on the down low.
I don't need people going all bug-eyed when I tell them my latest fetish, thank you very much.

of 22

Yes, I'm officially 'less younger' now.
and it's a beautiful warm balmy Sunday afternoon.
it's one of those rare sunshiny weekends in the midst of a cold snap. and I like to think it's nature's birthday gift to moi, a summer baby who nearly got sadly frozen solid last week.

and i'm sipping my yummy lemon tea in my pretty pink mug, complete with flower motif and a huge saucer (courtesy of dear Kim who is my absolute fave AMS buddy).
and my uber precious bicycle luggage tag (courtesy of PY, the baking goddess of my life) is standing on my study lamp. my leafy journal and pen is safely on my nightstand, girl. lols.
and I've got one more new addition to my horde of unread books (thanks to Rach) and another Borders voucher from the primary school peeps. woohoo.
and I've another pretty addition to my study table. a pristine-white stationary holder from KikkiK from Jacqjacq.
and I've got another pretty clutch to choose from when I go out to paint the town red (thanks to J and Sha). and it's in that pretty turquoise colour that you seldom get anywhere.
and I'm waiting for a wintry night to indulge in Kylie's (who's my lifesaver in AMS) hot choc and pecan bikkies.
and mum and dad as usual, got me a beautiful present.
and can I just say how well my girls know me??!!

but even when I'm surrounded by my horde of new treasures, the cards and messages and tags that came with them are still the most precious for me.
dad always has little nuggets of wisdom that he'll give out all the time when I was young, even when I had no idea what it meant and I would just nod along sagely and pretend that I understood his philosophy lessons.
and one of them came to mind as I put away oh-so-carefully the little gems of words that came with the pretty gifts.
"This too shall pass"
eventually, I'll exchange the voucher for books
I'll finish Rach's book
the stationery holder, the clutch, the luggage tag, the pen will sadly succumb to wear and tear
the mug might get smashed
ditto for the hot choc and bikkies and journal.

but I'll have my drawerful of little cards of sweet, touching messages that I would never exchange for anything in the world.
and I've been surrounded by words my whole life.
and that's why those little gems matter the most to me.

*I have 2 fave cards out of the whole lot. one that mum and dad gave me when I turned 21 that I bluetagged to my wall. and the second one from the baking goddess a few days ago. *


and I got the nicest birthday present from my sister-from-another-mother who is just 2 hours older than me and that I've known for practically 3/4 of my life.
she's happily in the throes of her first relationship.
and I was so so so so so happy for her coz she's the sweetest, mildest-mannered girl I've known.
and I love her to bits.
and any guy would be lucky beyond words to be with her.
but being the overprotective 'younger' twin, I totally FB-stalked him and asked around to make sure he was a decent guy, and not some annoying egoistical jerk.
well, it probably was a little extreme to be doing that all the way in Melbourne, when they are in Singapore.
but hey, this is my 'twin' I'm talking about. 'nuff said.
and it was soooo cute when she talked about how she misses him, and how she wants to be with him constantly. it's still the 'honeymoon' stage for them. and boy, was it surprising hearing that from her! she's always the more rational one between the 2 of us, the quieter, the one that has her feet planted firmly on the ground, never the emotional one, never the rash one.
and seeing this side of her is adorable.
and I admit that I'll feel a bit leftout when I go back to see her in June, because now there's also him there. and his calls might be a tad more important to her now.

even so, it's the nicest birthday gift that she can ever give me:
her being in love and being pampered and spoiled like the precious sweet little thing that she is.
that night, I fell asleep with a silly grin on my face.

of heels

I may look like a robust, strapping girl of 21 about to turn 22. lols.
but I'm quite tiny compared to my much-taller friends and even-taller Melbournians.
so, heels are quite the way to go.
too bad I love my white Keds-like and black studded flats too damn much for comfort's sake.

but I've seen the most amazing heels around and heel heights are soaring recently.
even Yahoo! had an article about it.
apparently, heel heights go up, up, up when there's like a recession going on eg the Great Depression during the 1930s, the oil crisis in 1950s and when the dotcom bubble burst during the 2000s.
and of course, there's a great big stinky global financial crisis going on right now.
and wearing sky-high heels gives women a sense of 'escapism'.
it might sound silly but I think I can understand.
when I put on a pair of heels, it no doubt makes me taller, but it also just changes the way I look, walk. at the risk of sounding ditzy, heels make me feel confident and all woman. you get the extra sparkle in your eyes, the extra 5 cm for your legs, the extra sheen to your complexion, the extra muscle tone in your calves.
yes, I make heels sound like magic shoes. but it does that for me.

grrrr.... if only I can walk around long enough in them for people to notice the Mel Version 2.0.
lols.

of Sydney and today

I'm loyal to Melb like that.
It was one non-stop eating, sightseeing trip to Sydney with the girls. Shall summarise it in those words post coz I'm lazy like that.

Aching feet pounding the pavement.
3 girls in an apartment = nonstop slumber party.
Sydney sunshine.
Fresh sashimi.
Bondi love but none of the hunky eyecandy.
Crazy Supre purchases.
Afro Funk.
Paddington that reminded me of the bear.
Living in the 2nd hand bookshop slash cafe.
Hurricane ribs.
Fried Mars bar.
Fresh fresh fresh pasta.
German mango beer.
King Lear.

and I'm one heck of map-reader/navigator, thank you very much.
Take that, you who says that I'm directionally-challenged!
I only got us lost ONCE throughout 3 and a half days. So there.
And the other time didn't count, coz we were on the right street. I just got the numbers mixed-up.


and I know that I cut the strings already. But it still stings when you parade for all to see. Whoop de do.
I have a mind to go do one of those witchy dancing chanting bonfire things to rid myself of the presence because it happens to be that day. lols.


and Sandra, it also happens to be the 3rd month since you've been gone. Your grandmother must be with you there, huh? So you probably won't be that lonely. I've been good these few months, trundling along with my theses and I'm going to turn 22 in a few days. And this time, my birthday will feel different, what with you gone and all that happened. But, I hope and I know you'll be there with me. I still miss you but it's been easier to breathe now whenever something reminds me of you and I was able to walk along normally that day when I saw someone that looked like you in Sydney. My heart skipped a beat for an instant but I forced myself to look down at my map and just occupied myself with navigation. And I kept telling myself, that it was merely one of those mirages. And a few seconds later, I looked up and we neared the girl and she was clearly not you. You were much more effervescent and bubbly.

Even though we weren't best friends and we didn't talked all the time, I hope you know how much you mean to me and how indelible your presence in my life was and still is.
It's getting better with time, Sandra. The moment it doesn't is when I'll throw up a light and wait for someone. I promise.

oooh, I toally forgot to write that my godsister gave birth to the cutest little girl-muffin.
it's like a commemorative day for me.
even though I've been an aunt a few times already (geez, kids these days grow up waaay too fast), but this is like the very first time I'm a godaunt (this term is right, right?).
and check this out: the little princess is named Joey Tok, Tok being the surname of course.
but I just think it's really cool that my little godniece is called Joey! it's like the name of one of those funky, confident, altheletic, painfully-cool, hip girl. a girl called Joey has none of those princessy, whiny, bitchy business, thank you very much.

oooh, I so can't wait to meet the girl of the hour.
but how I wish she could've waited til my birthday.
my godsister was hoping we could share the same birthday. but too bad, Joey was too impatient.
I can't wait to buy lots of pretty funky clothes for her.
and I need to get her some picture books too. I want my godniece to be a reader. lols.

managed to finish He's Just Not That Into You in a record 2 days.
my speed-reading is back, my friend.
and what an insightful read it was.
sharp as tacks and hilarious.
the kinda book that tells it as it is.
all about tough love, no frills or thrills, setting the bar up high.
and even though it was kinda hard to swallow at first, at the end of it, you feel like the awesome girl that you are.
note to self: don't waste the pretty.

when I was a kid, we used to go out to the gardens on Sundays. My parents would drag me and Qiang along for a jog and they would promise us a trip to the swings.
and like every public property in JB, the swings were rusty.
and we would lower ourselves very gingerly onto the seats, careful not to cut ourselves.
and our parents would push away.
and as a kid, I was rather afraid of heights due to this tiny, scary-as-hell accident that involved chubby little me and those evil monkey bars.
but I would always gather that little bit left of courage and urged my parents to "push me higher to the skies". the clouds then were so fluffy.

and then we would always go this slope on the other side that looked down on one of the main roads of JB that fronted the straits of Johor.
the sea breeze would be wonderful.
and there were always so many kites.
and if we were good, my parents would have brought one along.
and we would take off our shoes and socks and run around barefoot on the cool grass, while my mum would yell at us about the various worms that would tunnel their way right into our soles and into our hearts and brains.

and at the end of the whole jogging and swing and kiting fiasco came the absolute highlight of the week.
this steep bukit-like grassy slope.
and I would again gather that little bit of courage and run madly down the slope with Qiang, shouting wildly.
we would seriously run pell-mell down a steep slope.
oh hell, I was damn afraid of tumbling down and breaking all my 206 bones.
but it was kinda liberating.

well, today, I got to lie on the grass again, barefeet, with lovely music playing and the fluffy clouds and bubbles above.
all I needed was a swingset and a steep slope.

i'm falling overboard.


reading is going at a slower pace right now. but managed to finish 2 books this week. starting on He's Just Not That Into You which is sarcastic as tacks and enjoyable thus far. gotta remember it since I'm now single and ready to mingle. lols.

the most mundane things make a nice day.

1. clean, authentic Jap lunch in an understated underground cavern of an Izakaya with fellow foodie, J. S's absence was sorely missed.

2. discovering J has many more quirky habits: being able to choke on enoki mushrooms (I offered to scissor them into shorter strands but J's too embarassed by it) and having what I deemed as a "brown thumb" due to her being able to plantsit a cactus and it withering away in just 3 days. A cactus that is able to survive 50degrees in the hot dessert sun without water can die in her hands. Good on you, J. You're the best.

3. finally finding the hole-in-the-wall that served the yummiest coffee in Melbourne. But I'll still go back to Seven Seeds, coz I'm loyal like that and it was one heck of a cramped hole at BBB. But the hanging chairs on the ceiling make a good convo topic, if they don't suddenly fall from the sky and hit you and your coffee-sipping friends.

4. sitting on the GPO steps, clutching said latte and enjoying live music in the warm sun.

5. said live music piqued my interest and I ended up joining their mailing list, becoming one of their many admirers.

6. watching little girls twirl around hand-in-hand to said live music on said steps.

7. indulging in an AWW magazine, seeing as I was too damn busy to go hangout at Borders' GJ.

8. managing to cook the most awesome "zha jiang" noodles for dinner. lols.

9. a 15-minute impromptu telephone convo with mum.

10. buying ingredients for a lean-mean beef, fennel and veggie soup for tomorrow's dinner. recipe from said AWW!


Dear Sandra, I keep going back to your blog, as if I expect you to pop in with a new post. And I still smile to myself when I go through your archive. You're such an amazing bubbly girl. Yes, you are.

of half circles and 10 years

it's been quite a wonderful week.

1. saw IH and fell more in love with her.

2. laughed my way through 2 amazing comedies.

3. went a little adventurous with dinner choices for 2 nights straight in a row.

4. attended a mini primary school reunion and yumcha sesh. It was just the 8 of us. But how cool is it that there are a total of 8 of us Foon Yew 2 students here in Melbourne?! And it just so happens that we were quite close back in the good ole' days. It's been quite a wondrous thing because throughout the whole time we were reminiscing, we kept saying "Remember that thing that happened 10 years ago....?", "Remember how you tripped me over 10 years ago?". Being able to say "10 years ago" so easily and surely quite amazed me, because it HAS been 10 years since we last were little kids in primary school, where we boys and girls played together without worrying about situations brought about by sex hormones. lols. And Celine even joked about how in just an instant, we're gonna be able to say "Remember that thing that happened 20 years ago...?", but by that time, instead of being able to squeezed into 1 table like we did today, we probably would've to booked a few tables and get a private room and it'll be a heck lot more noisier than today.

And with a reunion comes loads of gossip about our schoolmates and how some got married ALREADY and how some even had kids or were planning to have kids.. Jolynn even showed us the size of the daughter of this one schoolmate we had with her hands, and let me tell you this, the daughter must have been at least 2 years old. And almost of us at the table today had stable, long-running relationships. And there were some of us had their partners planned into their whole future, and some had established homes with theirs. And it was such a nice, buttery feeling when I looked around at their happy fulfilled faces. JH and me probably felt a little left out with all the wonderful sweet love stories being proudly regaled, but you know what? They looked so contented and comfortable talking about their relationships that I couldn't help a smile licking my face. We've known each other for around 15 years and they are the few genuinely nice people I've met and they truly deserve all the happiness in the world.
We used to talk about uni studies and what we did in secondary school, but now the topics of choice for the day are relationships, job interviews, officewear (!!), cars, money etc.
I think we've come halfway around the circle.
And dimsum never tasted that good before.

Had a lovely evening with the two girls.
Everytime we go out even after not seeing each other for a long long time, we still get on like fire on a dry strawhouse. Magnificently.
Food and after-dinner entertainment was good, thanks to the comedy festival which is mad love. (I currently have this weird phrase "mad love" in my brain and I just use it with everything. Weird, my cognitive function.)

Oh, I'm officially having IH-withdrawal symptoms. boooo.
I need a quick fix. And oh, I just realised she didn't sing "Goodnight and Go" which totally pulls at your heartstrings.

And the weekend cannot get on with a better start, thanks to some AMS crap that I need to handle on a Saturday morning at 10am. And I was looking forward to VicMarketing and a treat at Border's GJ plus stuffing myself silly with magazines. Myeh.

Had one of those summery awesome nights yesterday.
The weather was heavenly, the right amount of heat.
The Imogen Heap gig was unbelievably great.
I've seen her on YouTube and I've listened to 4 of her albums countless times.
But omg, that all pales in comparison to her live persona.
And and and we got there so early that it wasn't funny and we were like frggin' 3rd in line so we had the pick of the whole dancefloor. And and and we were standing right up front, like 1 metre away from the amazing IH, and I could totally see her blusher and her painfully-chic white feather flower ornament in her hair and her black sequined eagle top which is to die for.
And last night was one of those nights where I didn't bring my camera. Booo... What luck!

But omg, I can't stop thinking about how great she was.
During the too-short gig, I was in electronica heaven. I actually had that melty, buttery feeling in my chest when she opened with "First Train Home". And that feeling lasted for the entire gig. The only words I could form throughout the gig were "OMG, how amazing was that?!" or "OMG, how great was that?!" which were both practically the same thing. lols. But the whole thing was just so breathtakingly beautiful that it rendered me speechless. So I floated on high for almost 3 hours (the opening acts were not bad, just wasn't as impressive as Miss Heap herself)
And after the whole thing, I came out and that great feeling lasted for an hour or so and the mamak supper tasted so much better or maybe it was coz I was kinda starving after standing for like 4 hours straight. And then, I became a little deflated like those limp balloons. You sort of just slowly come back down to dull, mundane, uninteresting earth after a tantalizing time in Miss Heap's quirky, cute-as-buttons, groovy company.

And boy, was she groovy! I could so tell that she was enjoying herself so much on stage, she was bopping really prettily up and down the stage in what my gig buddy deems as "those 70s, 80s moves". Lols, not very hip, I know. But on her, it looks completely natural and you just enjoy her performance that much more.

And can I just rave a little bit more on her improvisation, synthesization prowess?! You hear her quirky studio songs with those weird noises. But she actually recreated and improvised those sounds live and holy schmoly, was it just a little bit more electrifying than the studio albums songs?!

And oh, I can't choose my fave song for the night. But "Little Bird" deserved a mention coz I just thought it was so cute she used this little plush bird that made bird noises and "Aha!" was just that bit more special with the guest cellist. And "Swoon" is awesome stuff too, coz she had this little dance routine going on. And she uses the weirdest stuff on her sets! She had those Chinese medicine balls that made a ting-ing sound and a plastic capsicum that made those "shar shar" noises and this plastic tube that she whirled above her head and made this "whoop" sound. Lols. It may sound all just a little weird but you gotta be there to witness and feel everything. And she did "Hide and Seek" and my all-time fave song "The Moment I Said It", but sadly, not gig buddy's fave song "Let Go". And she sounded huskier last night but me like it big time.

And omg, she is such a cute, unpretentious person. She had this quiet, whimsical chatter going on throughout the gig, as though she was talking to herself or her imaginary friends. And since it was a small, cosy affair, you felt that much closer to her and her songs and since we were like right in front, it was even better! And we met these 2 other girls in the line from Brunei and Indo and we chattered on and managed to get front barrier standing room. Totally VIP placements man! And the girls were very cool chicks.

Verdict: Totally worth the 60 bucks I paid. Compared to those hundred-plus bucks for Lady Gaga, this was waaaay better. And to think I almost almost almost missed it coz I thought no one wanted to go see! And that would have been a total, kill-me-now tragedy. I'm still pissed about missing The Script's gig last year. Grrrr. So thank you, gig buddy! I can't wait for November when she comes back again! We will go again, with Kim this time in tow.

YES!! IH is coming back this very year. woohoo.

omg, blardi cold now.
too cold to stay full for long.
I foresee a few extra pounds on my already-shapely frame. lols.
I really think I'm a summer baby.

Just a short rant, even though Pheyyee is online now and she's been taking a little of it right now. lols.

Went to see Precious just now, and it's like this super sad emotional rollercoaster throughout the movie, with swear words for abuse left, right and centre throughout the whole movie. And there was even this extremely disturbing scene where a baby was dropped and the mother attempted to off the daughter by dropping a television on her which fortunately narrowly missed.
Hello, just reading the above abridged description of the movie puts you in a sad funk, right?

But noooo, this couple sitting next to me in the cinema was totally making out the whole time ok?
I could even hear the damn lip-smacking noises, like PY described as suction noises.
C'mon people, you're friggin' in your late 20s already but you still act like a pair of hormone-crazed teenagers out on their first date.
If you want to make out, kindly get a room. And stay there until the dawn of time or when you break up, whichever comes first.
I totally sound like a lovelorn b**** here.

But my pet peeve is people disturbing my hard-earned Nova time with incessant chattering, incessant opening-of-plastic-bags, incessant mobile-checking and incessant making out.
When you come to a cinema, just sit back, turn off your mobile, open your bag of chips before the movie and enjoy the damn movie.
Surely your messages/emails/kisses/calls can wait 1 and a half hours right? lols.


on a side note, I need to practice my dirty looks on someone, coz the couple next to me was completely immune to me shooting dirty disgusted looks once every 10 mins. PY said she and the girls are gonna teach me some tricks.


AND 4 DAYS TILL IH!! woohoo.

Just a short little entry.
Happy birthday to dad, Jacq and Jasper!

Even though I'm 22, I'm still my dad's little girl.
I still snuggle up next to him when he sits on the floor of our lounge.
And I still love the little petname that he gave me when I was a baby.
And even though he is old-er now, his cheeks are still chubby enough to be pinched. Mine too.
And even though goodness know I'm old enough to make my own decisions, somehow I still run to him for affirmation, coz he gives the best advice.
And he still looks like a kid when he laughs.
And I always did love his scratchy stubble whenever he hugs or kisses me. It adds that little special something, I think.

And dear Jacq turned 21 with her loved ones and friends around her.
I think we did do our part in making sure she had a memorable one.
And Jasper turned 22 with chocolate and friends surrounding him.
So I think it was all good, except I wished that we could've wrapped the girl in wrapping paper and a bow and make it a special air-mailed present for him. lols. What fun would that be!


Dear Sandra,
Whenever a birthday rolls around, I reserve this little space in the festivities for you. Don't worry, I am 100% there in body, soul and mind, having fun. But I still think of you sometimes and how you could've celebrated more birthdays with your favourite pink sunhat sitting jauntily on your head and how I regret it now that I never made the time. Well, I hope you have pretty sunbursts and thousands of hats now. xoxo

Had the weirdest dream last night.
It was pleasant nonetheless. And it was oh-so-realistic. I could actually smell my surroundings and hear the background noise.
And when I woke up, I remembered thinking, "why the heck am I in my bed?!".
Must be the onslaught of IH's music that I've been playing last 2 nights. Her songs have always been strangely trance-like and therapeutic. But I like her previous album better. The new one is abit too pop for me. And I always thought she belonged to the alternative genre, but when I was at a CD shop, it was catalogued in the POP section! Geez. Currently hooked on The Moment I Said It.

But back to my dream! I literally saw two elephants at this gig that I was at. They were dancing and swaying to the music and looked so in love with each other. Weird stuff, my REM cognitive function.

And I met the ex-boy-next-door at the supermarket.
Normally I liked grocery shopping alone and wandering up and down the aisles aimlessly.
But today was nice. It's been too long since we last talked properly.

Dear Sandra,

It's been a wee bit over 2 months now. It still stings the eyes, but it's been better so far. And all our fathers had a little get together of their own just last week, a mini post-CNY reunion. And I'm sure you were there, right?

Just the other day, I stumbled upon these photos we took in 2007. It was a great day, wasn't it? I think we spent more time talking than eating while the boys just sat sulkily in a corner, ey? Lols. It was such a pity Michelle couldn't be there, otherwise we would have all been complete.Isn't this a beautiful picture of us girls? We should photoshop Michelle into the picture!

I don't think I can say the D word just yet.
I miss you.
In memoriam of the beautiful girl that you are, Sandra. xoxo.

Kinkybluefairy (who is completely spunky with blazing red hair) was saying how she took a plunge because she finally found someone that she thinks about constantly, even upon waking up and the last thing before bedding down. And she talks about how smitten kitten she was that she felt happy just talking to him.

And just the other day, the girl-next-door had the exact same sentiments. I could literally see the glow and the blush that came with her spilling everything. She literally lit up while sitting on my bed in her winter jammies and actually became all giggly. Even when I think about that scene, I can't stop a smile licking my face. lols. She was utter cuteness.

I think I'm a romantic, but not a huge one.
I've kept pretty much mum about the whole thing, because I wanted it to be a close chapter and frankly, I do not want to be a whiny ninny. And like I said before, I've cut all my strings.
I don't think I missed him.
I think I just missed the supposed camaraderie we had and that warm buttery feeling.
But now that I understood everything, I'm back to walking in my grown-up high heeled shoes and cliched as this might sound, I'm happier than ever.
And no, I am not gloating. I do wish him well.

I 'accidentally' wandered into the young adults fiction section today and was happily browsing the stacks when I noticed a few things.

1. There are few or no Enid Blyton or Roald Dahl books.
2. Books about vampires crowded the damn shelves. Apparently, Twilight started an obsession with the undead.
3. Examples of titles include Gossip Girls, Luxe, The Sevin Sins etc. Hmmm, something going on there that I can't quite put my finger on.

That aside, I found the coolest Alice In Wonderland illustrated book. I want it. Need to live on bread and water for a few days. And I'm dying to get The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and its sequels. Will need to live on bread and water for a few weeks then.

Autumn Gray is playing now. A delightful discovery.
Diary of a Falling Man has haunting lyrics.
Am thinking of going for their gig in April.

things that perk up my day:
1. my awesome new lappy that I can actually play my music on and organise my database without worrying about the sudden crashing
2. my organised music library
3. blueberry crumb bar that the baking goddess in my life bestowed on me
4. impromptu night visits by the baking goddess and her funny-as-hell, Twister-eating, Malay-looking sister
5. super yummy and healthy lunch at Animal Orchestra with mum
6. surviving 2 back-to-back fitness classes. gotta work it, baby!
7. supposed hot cocoa with the girl-next-door. lols. no, we didn't make it to Koko Black, thus the supposedness
8. dinner!!

I'm thinking of just using my journal from now on. Then I get to doodle a little on the sidelines.
But this Notebook: of mine is kinda the ticket for mum and dad back home to see what shenanigns I get up to in Melbourne without parental guidance. Thus, the almost religious daily entries these few days for poor lonely ole' dad at home. lols.

Anyways, my damn Toshiba lappy is driving me insane right now.
The keyboard is laggy, can't even friggin' keep up with my ultra-slow typing speed, and eats up certain alphabets.
My music player which is like my right hand, is giving me a damn headache.
The processor regressed to the intelligence and speed of a temperamental 5-year-old kid.
Makes me not want to start sorting out my database. blah.

But lappy woes aside, mum got me some cute PJs which apparently cost peanuts at DFO. now, I'm happy, cute-looking, warm and cuddly. lols.
And did you see the sunny skies today?!
It was totally sunshiney goodness.
Makes you wanna lay out on the grass, blare Kina Grannis' Valentine and India Arie's Video and draw cartoons.

I'm discovering CC's SummerSessions songs and they are yummy.
they totally offset the bout of sad, somewhat depressing books that I'm reading so far. Need to find me some good recommendations of nice, non-confrontational, placid books. Now is the best time to whip out my Magic Faraway Tree series. Too bad it's back in good ole' JB.