Dear Sandra,

I wanted to go and say my last goodbye personally, not only because you deserve it, but also because it would be some kinda closure for me. It'll be like the last word on that particular chapter, even though I would still think of you so very often and sometimes at night, I would lay awake in my bed and your face would come unbidden in my mind and I would miss you so much that it would take sometime for me to fall asleep.
I did say goodbye to you in my own way on the day of your funeral, but I still need to be in the same space as you, to stand in front of you and say all those things that I want to say, and to look at your face.
But it seems that circumstances are preventing me to do so. All I can say is I'm sorry and I would be there as soon as I can. I promise.
And your dad is doing much better now. I think you know that, ey? You must be watching them from above. I would like to think you're a guardian angel of sorts for them. You must be.
And it's going to be the one month milestone soon. The first day of CNY and Valentine's Day and your passing all rolled into one. I think I'm getting better at handling it. Friends and family are making it easier for me to do so, to miss and mourn you in my own way. But I still think you're gone too soon. All the brightest stars of this world always were taken away too early from us, don't you think?

Thanks for making me somewhat stronger and somewhat more resilient. I can't say that I would grieve better next time around, but thanks for showing me what to do, what to say, what to think.

Until the time I am able to say goodbye to you properly, I miss you, Sandra Wong.