Dear Sandra

Dear Sandra,

I am still at the stage of denial.
I can still see your face clearly in mind, always in motion.
And that makes it harder for me to reconcile with the truth.
And not being able to say goodbye to you, not being able to see your face one last time, somehow makes it seem like a dream. One minute, I was looking at brain scans, and the next minute, the call came and...
Like I said, I am still at the stage of denial.

So this hopefully will make it somewhat easier.
I miss you, Sandra.
I wished we had laughed more, talked more, learnt more about each other.
Our dads being best friends until now since childhood, probably was the pulling point for us all being friends.
And I wished we could have continued the tradition of our dads being best friends.
And now I regret that our kids would never had the chance of being 3rd generation best friends.

Granted we didn't talk much, but when we all flocked together with our dads in toll, it was wonderfully perfect.
Like one big happy family.
You were always clamouring for me to tell you more stories about med school. You used to recoil in horror at my dissection room stories and how the cadevers smelt like 'lap cheong' and you claimed never to be able to eat that ever again. But the next minute, you would smiled sweetly at me and demanded more stories from the medical world. It never failed to amuse me.
And remember how you made fun of the two quiet boys in the corner during the reunion in JB? Yes, you did make fun of them. You kept denying it, giggling to yourself. But we all knew. And we all had fun. Especially Amanda who sure was your accomplice at the time. You girls took the mickey out of those guys.
And remember how you had to split the veggie stems and leaves and you claimed never to be able to like eating the stems and how you exchanged them for leaves with Uncle Chee Keong's son who said he like the stems? I personally think you were one smart cookie and got the better end of the... stick/deal.
And back when we were little tots, I remembered thinking to myself, 'poor uncle Jimmy, gotta put up with 3 daughters.' and me being determined to be a good little girl and sit in one corner of the hotel room, when I first met you and Clara and Laura. But, the next minute, I was up running about, helping you chase after the girls. You were that infectious.

I know you just turned 21 in November.
and I know you were one year away from your university graduation.
and I know you were everything to your sisters and your parents.
and I know that our small group would never be the same without you.

I want you back. Your bubbly, cheerful self.
and I'm angry at you being gone too soon.
Because I miss you. We all do.
We love you, Sandra.
and we love the fact that you were selfless enough to be an organ donor. You have inspired me.
I was lucky enough to be able to know you, to keep up with your constant enthusiasm, to laugh at your jokes, to share with you stories.

Thanks for the memories, babe. You were and still are one heck of a girl.

Sandra Wong (11/22/1988-14/1/2010)