Dear Sandra,

I watched The Lovely Bones yesterday.
And it was a beautiful movie about life and life after death.
And Susie reminded me of you. The same infectious quality, the same buoyancy about everything, and the generous amount of love you lavished on your loved ones.

The book was like chicken soup for the grieving soul.
And the movie was a poignant albeit watered down version of the soup, I guess. lols.
It's hard to let go of the blame and anger at that idiotic, irresponsible driver. I wished so much that he had at least some concussion or bruises or just plain bleeding somewhere. I don't care where, just somewhere.
But I'm getting it a little now. 'It' being to accept the unfair reality of it and lay no blame on others.
Books and movies and advice columns tell us all about acceptance and forgiveness and the whole feel-good nine-yard thing. But they don't say how sometimes people hurt so much or how guilty they feel when they haven't talked to that person in ages so that they just need to heap blame and responsibility on others.
But I'm slowly past the stage of anger now and I'm accepting it. Thanks for that little push in the right direction, babe.
I still miss you. But I'm getting better at it. I don't feel choked when something reminds me of you anymore. You're the first close friend I've had that was gone too soon, you know? So please be patient with me getting used to the fact that I won't see you again.
Until then, see you around.

p.s. Did you see the guy who played Raj in the movie and all that sweet little scenes between Susie and Raj? He's cute, isn't he? I wonder whether you had someone like that in your life. You know what? I think you did because who could resist your sweetness and enthusiasm and joy? I should've asked about that, ey? lols.

p.s.s. And you know, I'm thinking that driver probably has to live with the guilt his whole life. So I'm guessing that's enough punishment, yes?